i want to cease to exist, letting my body rot into the earth and be taken over by flowers & fungi. i want my body to crumble at the touch of death like fractured rubble in the walls of an abandoned castle. i want my body to disintegrate like sugar into water, be consumed like wisps of paper thrown into a fire, be released from life like smoke from a blown out candle. i am tired, and my aching body demands rest.